Start where you are, nudge yourself to the edges, refuse to give up, little by little... you can find freedom, you can re-create a new way, you can do this. In fact, this might be the exactly conditions you needed to realise just how freaking strong you really are.
The honest reality is that asking big questions is scary. The ground feels a little less certain than it once did. You have a sense that if you ask this one, whatever the answer, there are likely a bucket load more that will tumble out. It is the start of the unravelling, you can sense it, and even the brave amongst us know that unravelling a whole life, a whole faith, a whole identity, a whole relationship, a whole way of being in the world IS NOT EASY.